Love or Logistics: How to spot transactional relationships early
Do you ever stop amid your interaction with someone and realise how transactional your relationship has become? We've all been here at different points, but it's understandable when they're our classmates, co-workers, or even landlords.
But well, what happens if it's someone you're in a romantic relationship with? Seems catastrophic, right?
Many people find themselves in transactional relationships in which either or both parties are focused on pursuing their interests.
Fortunately, this is not a bad thing, but it's only acceptable to the extent that both parties know what to expect. Imagine how terrible it'll feel to invest all your emotion in a relationship without knowing your partner is only there for what they can get.
ALSO READ: Does asking a man for money make a relationship transactional?
If you've ever suspected you might be in a transactional relationship, you should investigate further. The signs are always glaring, but we're often too blinded by passion to see them. Here are some signs that point towards transactional relationships. Number 4 will definitely get you wondering.
You feel a relationship is one-sided and give more than you receive (e.g., financial support, emotional support, and physical availability). You're always there for your partner when they're barely there for you!
One partner consistently shows signs of self-absorption or selfishness in their behaviour and actions. They show little consideration for how their partner feels about their actions or inactions.
One or both partners keep score of their actions and how they leave the other party in a deficit or credit position, whether real or perceived.
There's very little exchange of love and affection between both parties. It's time to ask whether you're lovers or barely roommates
.Your partner constantly refuses to see how their actions affect you. They simply want to live their lives and exhibit their characters, and they won't consider changing anything to accommodate your feelings.
One or both parties expect financial, physical, or sexual compensation for every sacrifice, emotion, or action invested in the relationship.
One or both parties focus more on what they get than what they give.
Unfortunately, these are the realities of most relationships these days. Many people have become so engrossed with their pursuance of everyday life that they forget how to love and reciprocate love genuinely. It's okay if both of you agree to this from the start.
But if the other party suddenly begins to lean towards transactional when you still love genuinely, it's probably time to pack up your things and look for who will genuinely reciprocate your love.
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